By Kathy Peel
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Extra resources for Family for life: how to have happy, healthy relationships with your adult children
After eight months Drew had saved enough to repay his parents the wasted tuition, buy a car (a far less exciting car than the one his parents had given him), and return to school. Then—hold on to your hat, this is a true story—his parents gave him, in one lump sum, all the money they had saved over the years to send him to college. ) They told Drew that they hoped he’d use it for his education, but it was his to do with as he wanted. If he spent it on something besides college, that was his choice.
Hence freedom requires reflective choice about life. —George Will WHO’S GOING TO CALL THE SHOTS? Let’s face it: for many years in our children’s lives, we called all of (or at least most of ) the shots. ” It’s a hard habit to break. Maybe the toughest job of every parent with a young adult in the transition from dependence to independence is to know how to respond and help a child learn from the mistakes he or she makes along the way. 44 Family for Life As you begin to let your child call more of the shots for herself or himself, you are doing more than making your job as a parent easier.
Seek immediate help if any of the following describe your adult child: • Talking about death, suicide, or lost hope or saying that life seems unbearable • Talking about killing or hurting someone else Prepare Kids Well for the Big World 43 • Showing severe depression—crying, not eating, sleeping, or dressing; neglecting normal activities; acting lethargic and uncommunicative • Showing unexplained injuries, bruises, or broken bones • Mistreating or ignoring the survival needs of a spouse or child • Revealing dangerous drug or alcohol abuse Freedom is not only the absence of external restraints.
Family for life: how to have happy, healthy relationships with your adult children by Kathy Peel